


The On-Call Room

by FiveLeafClover



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2019-05-19 03:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14865773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveLeafClover/pseuds/FiveLeafClover
Summary: Set in March/April 2016. Lily's patient and his father is a painful reminder of her own relationship with her late father. As she rushes to the on-call room to try and compose herself, she finds her best friend crying there.





	The On-Call Room

**Author's Note:**

> [backdated fic, originally posted on fanfiction/net under the username InfinityAndOne, posted here 07/06/18]
> 
> I was looking through old stories while sorting out documents and I found this! I don't know when I wrote it but it was unedited and hadn't seen the light of day. I thought I'd go back to it, proof-read it and here we are! I know I left it because I wasn't happy with it, and writing for Lily is very hard, and I'm still not happy with it, but here it is finally... I hope you enjoy!

"I thought you said there was a problem, Mum," Anna spat.

"Your father is seriously ill! Of course there's a problem!" her mother shouted back.

Lily watched on with horror at the exchange. At least the father was asleep and couldn't hear them bickering.

"If I might interrupt," Lily asked, stepping forward and in-between the two.

"You can stay out of this," Anna snarled, pointing right at Lily's face.

She was surprised but not threatened and turned to Anna's mother. "Jess, would you like some time alone with your husband?"

Jess spoke through her tears, which were now rapidly falling down her face. "No, it's okay, thank you," she whispered. "Um… could you show me where that room was again? The one I went to earlier?" She glanced to her husband. "I don't want Emris hearing this."

Lily nodded. "Of course," she said equally as quietly. "If you and Anna could follow me this way." She told the nurse that if anything changed in Emris' condition that she was to be notified immediately, and led Anna and Jess through to the relative's room. "Would you… like me to stay?"

"Doctors! Always sticking their noses in!"

"Um… it'll be alright," Jess said.

"I'll be outside if you need me." She turned around and shut the door behind her, leaning against the wall. It was her understanding that, while Anna and Emris got on relatively well, they had their moments because Anna was at Art school, but her father wanted her to be in medicine. And be the CEO of a hospital, like he was.

She knew that scenario all too well, except at least she was in medicine. And she would become a consultant. She would… if only her father could see her. She was doing well for herself. Her bedside manner (she was told) had improved and she was well on her way to becoming a consultant.

Odd words and phrases floated outside the door when Anna became a little too rowdy, but Lily noticed, Jess would be quick to quieten her. That didn't stop Lily piecing together their conversation and feeling her heart ache.

She was listening to a conversation held many-a-time with her own mother, about her father. She wanted – needed – to make Anna see that once her father was gone, he was gone. She couldn't have any regrets.

Bracing herself for a verbal beating again, she grasped the door handle and pushed down, opening the door with force.

Anna was shouting, "he doesn't love me! He just wants someone to be like him!"

Lily slammed the door hastily. Tears pricked her eyes. She couldn't stop her mind replaying conversations like that and all she wanted to do was make her father proud. Instead she was a disappointment.

"Lily?" That was Connie's voice. Her hand touched Lily's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Lily wondered why she was asking at first, but then she felt the tears fall down her cheeks and, without so much as a word, she shrugged Connie's hand from her shoulder and rushed away. She needed to go somewhere private to get herself together. She shouldn't cry. She had patients and a job to do.

But the tears kept coming and she made a beeline for the on-call room.

The door came as welcome relief and she open and shut it fast. But as soon as she entered the room and closed the door behind her, she realised it was already occupied.

With her best friend.

And he was crying.

As soon as Ethan looked up, he stood up, guided Lily to the bed and sat down beside her. She noticed him subtly rub under his eyes and felt his warm hand rub her back in sympathy, before he tentatively put his arms around her. Usually she would reject this close comfort, but she relished in it and clung to him. She gave into her sobs and cried painfully.

She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed of her tears, and she didn't care for the sounds she was making. This release was all she needed.

As she thought back to her father, and how much she wished she could tell him, her sobs became louder and harsher. She wanted to hug him and wanted him to tell her how proud he was of her. But he was gone. And she missed her chance to say how much she loved him.

And she'd never hear his voice and she'd never make him proud because he was dead and he would never see her grow to become the daughter he always wanted.

But a while later, when she started to calm, she found herself leaning weakly against Ethan's shoulder, drawing strength from her best friend.

"What happened, Lily?" he muttered.

"It's silly, re –"

"Lily," Ethan cut in softly, "it's not silly. What happened?"

She wiped her eyes, but more tears tumbled down her face and her attempts proved fruitless. "There was a patient… and his daughter came in." She cleared her throat. "She… her relationship with her father is like… is like…" she stopped, holding back a sob.

"Is like your relationship with your father," he said heavily.

She nodded wordlessly and started crying again, burying her face in his shoulder and letting him comfort her. "Your father would be so, so proud of you, Lily," he whispered. "So, so proud. You are a brilliant doctor with fantastic medical skills and your suture work is some of the best I've seen in a long time."

Lily huffed.

"And I'm you friend, so I wouldn't lie to you. You know I wouldn't lie to you."

She sniffed. "Thank you."

It took a while for Lily to calm down enough to feel composed and ready to face work. She thought back to her patient, but she hadn't been paged so nothing terrible had happened in the time she'd been in the on-call room.

With sudden realisation, she remembered what happened when she'd first entered the on-call room. Ethan… he was crying. He was sobbing, even. Desperately sobbing.

"Now you're going to tell me what you were upset about," she said directly, knowing she had to get straight to the point.

He looked shocked. "No… um… nothing's… I wasn't…"

Lily softened her tone and took his hand into her own. "You're my friend and I would like it if you let me help you."

He nodded, tears filling his eyes. "You remember… I told you about the… the Huntington's?"

She nodded, heart clenching just thinking about it.

"Well, it turns out, you weren't the only one haunted by patients." He laughed slightly, tears falling as his body shook. "I had a patient come in… a woman… with Huntington's… she reminded me of Emilie – my mother Emilie. And then she died and I just kept thinking… that's what my future will be. That! I don't want that, Lily."

And then he crumbled completely, but Lily held him. Just like he held her.

And she realised, this is true friendship. And like he would never let her go, she would never let him go.


End file.
